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Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Bzzzt ZAP Don't waste my time, puny writer.
How did you acquire such a fine physique, General?
I'm nine feet tall of bile and poison, puny Earthling.
Tell us about your childhood, General.
Spent with Bee nurses, mostly puny things seven feet tall, striped orange and black, silly things like to dance. Fed me rotten meat and fruit. I grew in size and cleverness. Lived in the paper caverns in the Hollow Hills under the three moons that spill their red light like putrid blood into the valley. Grew to serve the Queen. Spiked my father through the neck when I grew tall enough to take over control of the Black Watch, the soldiers with the black patches who serve me and the slug-like Queen on our planet, Jive Hive.
What interests you on Earth, General?
It's eight light years away and the humans are weak and selfish. We can easily rid the Earth of the vermin that crawls upon it and make a paradise for the Bees and Wasps for at least a hundred years, when we must expand again.
What is the biological imperative, sir?
Bzzzt Zap I'm the hungry General, the biological imperative is to serve our Queen. We will make a warlike Queen, a young Queen fitting to come to Earth with us. The old Queen is soft and lazy. We'll leave her here on the old Jive Hive.
It seems to me there's no stopping you, General.
I wait for Paradise. It will be very hard to kill me.
<flings his poisoned barbs at the writer, who ducks>